Amy Mason’s 10 simple ideas for coming out as a queer woman
REVEALED!
〰️
REVEALED! 〰️
Image: Lucy Ridges
Edinburgh Fringe 2024 is here! And so is our annual features series. This year, it’s all about REVELATIONS: the gossip, the mysteries, the spies and the moles. Because everyone knows you can’t keep a secret at Edinburgh Fringe…
Amy Mason brings her show Free Mason to Edinburgh Fringe, where she talks all about coming out in her late 30s. She’s full of wisdom on how YOU could do the same!
By Amy Mason
I recently came out as a lesbian, while married to a man. What a laugh for all involved.
I hadn’t come out to the parents at my daughter’s new school and then the perfect opportunity presented itself. A dad shared an anti LGBTQ+ relationship education petition in the class WhatsApp group. As we were new to the school, and I was trying to keep my head down for once in my life, I decided to let another parent handle it. But when they didn’t (and I mean I waited a good 50 seconds) I thought I’d best step in.
I wrote: “I am queer and you can put this petition here but I will make a petition to make all your kids gay and I will put the link here.”
Thank you, sir, for neatly enabling me to reveal my sexuality to all the parents in one fell swoop. I was planning to wear a strap-on to the school gate on my daughter’s first day, but will save that for when I join the library.
Here are ten other simple ideas for coming out as a queer woman:
Dig a pond and post photos of it on Instagram, including highly charged updates re: frogspawn 3-7 times per day.
Write a heartfelt poem (about Natasha Lyonne or frogs) and post online. Overshare to the point you are physically sick. Then carry on.
Write a show about coming out in your late 30s and perform it at Edinburgh Fringe for a month.
Write a book about funghi (can mention frogs).
Get famous (for being funghi expert?) and hassle your agent to be on Strictly so you can be in a same-gender couple (with a frog?)
Tattoo of JoJo Siwa’s face over your face.
Tattoos of Sarah Paulson and Holland Taylor on your shins.
Haircut that makes you look like a child who’d play with a hoop and stick in 1835.
Tell me and I’ll tell everyone if you want.
If all else fails just go and live in the future where everyone is already queer, probably.
Amy Mason: Free Mason runs from Jul 31st-Aug 26th (except 12th), 8pm at Pleasance Courtyard (The Cellar). Tickets here
Read more about Edinburgh Fringe 2024:
