Rosalie Minnitt: Every show the Succession characters would do at Edinburgh Fringe
Fantasy Fringe
〰️
Fantasy Fringe 〰️
We’re excited about the Edinburgh Fringe, but it’s clear it needs to change. A lot of people have a lot of ideas, but nothing has really happened yet. So we decided to ask the comedians themselves: in your fantasy, what would the Fringe look like? It might have been a mistake.
As a character comedian, Rosalie Minnitt has a unique insight into the minds of the most unhinged. And who is more unhinged than the super-rich? Here, she tells us which shows each of the Roy children would do if they were performing at the Fringe.
This summer, join Succession’s brightest starlets as they head up to the ultimate narcissist’s playground, the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, for their much anticipated debut hours.
Kendall Roy - Eldest Boy: PREQUEL
Summerhall, 11:40 PM
Kendall is blessing us all with an experimental, darker than dark, one-man show pioneering theatre technology at Summerhall. Mixing Greek tragedy with Kitchen Sink realism, this one-man late night, immersive exploration into the deepest depths of the human psyche is part DJ set, part Hamlet fan fiction. So far, his New York previews are said to have left audiences ‘stunned’ by the complex plot and whirlwind multi-rolling which sees Kendall playing several different versions of his inner child. Set to an original score created by a rather reluctant Alex Turner and featuring a surprise cameo from an only too keen Shia LeBeeef, critics have already praised this dark prince for his ambitious use of tech with one saying, ‘I found the interpretive breakdance with his shadow unexpectedly moving.’ Written almost exclusively using AI technology, Kendall describes the show as ‘the ultimate love letter to hubris and, of course, the stock market.’
Director: Kendall Roy
Producer: Kendall Roy
Roman Roy - The Fall of Rome: Variety Night
BlundaBus, 12:00 AM
Tipped to fill the big clown shoes left by Spank’s absence this year, Roman’s variety night promises to be a chaotic and debauched romp into the shadow lands of live performance, showcasing the most depraved of Edinburgh’s underground talent. Roy takes on the role of bad-boy MC/Priest, but prone to sudden outbursts of rage and unexpected breakdowns in between sets, he’s an unreliable guide through the creative underworld. The line-up has been kept tightly under wraps but rumour has it we could see the likes of Kris Jenner as her mennonite alter ego, Miss DeLuLu, and we might even get a cheeky visit from Word Bitch, aka, Liam Payne and his controversial spoken word set. Designed specifically to clash with Kendall’s prequel over at Summerhall, you’ll be asked to sign an NDA and waiver before you venture into these murky depths - if you're lucky, you may even find yourself boar on the flooring into the early hours - so do approach with caution.
Directed by: Julia Fox
Produced by: Gerri
Tom Wambgams - I Just Ride
Pleasance Courtyard, 8pm
After one ‘chance’ meeting at Soho Theatre Bar, Tom has somehow managed to wrangle his way into Pleasance Courtyard this year for his debut hour, I Just Ride. Fresh from a stint at Gaulier, this semi-autobiographical clowning extravaganza charts Wambgams’ controversial rags-to-riches rise to the top. Set exclusively to the music of Miss Lana Del Rey, this evocative meditation on the American Dream features not one, not two, but 33 costume changes and is mostly just Tom monologuing in sequins on a twenty-foot high swing above a pool of circling orcas. ‘Hauntingly beautiful’ and ‘seeped in metaphor,’ rumour has it, he’s already cinched a Netflix deal for this hour of theatrical wonder and is a shoe-in for awards season. But, when Tom found out that the Edinburgh Comedy Awards might not be happening this year, he reportedly set fire to his Gaulier certificate and smashed up Kendall’s childhood rolex with a bar of solid gold - also Kendall’s.
Director: Jamie Lee Curtis
Produced by: Aubrey Plaza
Cousin Greg - TBC
Greg doesn’t actually have a venue sorted out yet but is hoping to do a split bill slot with Frank somewhere on Cowgate. He will already be in Edinburgh anyway because, bound by an iron-clad Faustian pact, is also stage-managing and orca-wrangling Tom’s show in return for a sweet, sweet Brooke’s Bar pass. Though Greg won’t actually be seen on stage at any point, Tom has insisted Greg don a dazzling custom court jester costume for the duration of August. Greg had hoped that this year would see the debut of the double-act, the Disgusting Brothers, but after a semester at clown school and a zoom with Avalon, Tom had a sudden change of heart and told Greg he wanted to go in a different creative direction or, as he put it, ‘suck it, Greg’ and shoved him into the orca tank.
Shiv Roy - Shivvy B
Gilded Balloon, 6:40 PM
Staged in an actual think tank, this show is part political think piece, part burlesque show, part live podcast recording. Atop a floating pegasus and asking the ‘Big Questions’ about polyamory, open marriages, swinging and non-monogamy, this is Shiv’s keynote address to all the lonely girl bosses out there. Power suit and powerpoint heavy, it’s an hour designed to fortify and reupholster the glass ceiling to avoid any more accidental shattering. Head mic’d to the nines, Shiv is reportedly nervous about the run this summer and has been seen repeatedly swigging gin from her Birkin bag in the wings. She’d been in conversations with Pleasance all year and was therefore astonished to find Shivvy B missing from this year’s programme launch - no matter, she’s been reassured repeatedly by the box office that everyone loves an underdog. Especially one with loads of cash and a famous dad.
Directed by: Karen Brady
Produced by: Goop
Connor Roy - Improv-idence
FringeShip, all day, everyday
Connor struggled to get programmed at any of the venues on land so, resourceful as ever, he’s taking his new improv troupe, The Founding Fathers, offshore for their debut residency on the widely despised FringeShip - sponsored by PlayBill. This ambitious, three-hour, aerial improv show sees Connor redefining our very understanding of comedy itself. After a few generous donations to Second City and UCB, the troupe is packed to the rafters with Chicago’s finest yes-anders who were boxed up and shipped off to Edinburgh this morning without signing any real paperwork. Willa’s new play, ‘New Couch, New me’ opens on Broadway in August so unfortunately she won’t be joining The Founding Fathers for their run this year.
Director: Martin Scorsese
Produced by: Hero Fiennes Tiffin
Logan Roy
NB: Logan obviously doesn’t have a show because Edinburgh is not for serious people. He is however planning to buy up every Out of Hand board in the whole city just because he can.
Rosalie Minnitt is performing her character comedy show Clementine at Underbelly Cowgate from August 3-27th, 2:25pm. Tickets here
