Rhiannon Shaw interviews the small French child who’s moved into her house
Fantasy Fringe
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Fantasy Fringe 〰️
We’re excited about the Edinburgh Fringe, but it’s clear it needs to change. A lot of people have a lot of ideas, but nothing has really happened yet. So we decided to ask the comedians themselves: in your fantasy, what would the Fringe look like? It might have been a mistake.
Character comedian and stand-up Rhiannon Shaw sits down to chat with Caroline [Surname Unknown], the French exchange student who never went home and now has a starring role in Rhiannon’s show Wedding Night. The results are riveting. (Optimum enjoyment if you read Caroline in a French accent)
Rhiannon: Hi Caroline.
Caroline: Bonjour and hello Mrs Shaw!
Rhiannon: You can call me Rhiannon.
Caroline: [whispering] Ryan.
Rhiannon: And I’m not Mrs yet, Caroline. I’m getting married in September.
Caroline: Yes I complètement forgot. You are going to be getting married. And I will be your bridesmaid and be very importante.
Rhiannon: Flower girl.
Caroline: Flower girl! Fille de fleur. I throw pretty flowers on the floor and in the faces of l’audience.
Rhiannon: No, not in their faces. So, tell me, Caroline, how did you come to the UK?
Caroline: It is a very sad story that will make everybody say ‘Aw… Caroline’. I became lost in a school exchange programme and was all alone and toute seule. Luckily I got into your car and now I live with you. It is a good thing I was not abductée.
Rhiannon: You kind of abducted yourself by sneaking into my car and then my home. Who taught you how to pick locks?
Caroline: En France, we have a phrase. ‘It is easier to eat a croissant than a seagull.’
Rhiannon:
Caroline:
Rhiannon: Okay. How are you feeling about the Fringe?
Caroline: Very enthousiaste and jazzé. I am in Edinburgh which is very nice because the French are allies with the Scotland forever and tout le monde.
Rhiannon: Why does that matter? Are you going to declare war against England?
Caroline: Noooooo.
Rhiannon: Are you sure?
Caroline: Noooooo.
Rhiannon: Caroline, what are your plans after the Fringe?
Caroline: Maybe, perhaps, I will go to the zoo in Edinburgh to see the penguins who parade. I will become their leader by feeding them langoustine.
Rhiannon: That’s sweet, I suppose.
Caroline: Then we will march upon, je pense, Berwick-Sur-Le-Tweed.
Rhiannon: That’s not very sweet.
Caroline: I am joking. I am a comedian like you and Ricky Gervais. Rest in peace.
Rhiannon: He’s not dead, Caroline.
Caroline: Many people are.
Rhiannon: What?
Caroline: Hehe… Come to see the wedding! I am the flower girl!
Rhiannon: Thanks for sitting down with me, Caroline.
Caroline: Okay. Where is my lunch?
Rhiannon Shaw: Wedding Night runs from August 15-27th (not 21st), 2pm at Bedlam Theatre. Tickets here
