Tatty Macleod: Goodbye choice, hello Randomly Generated Edinburgh Fringe

Fantasy Fringe

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Fantasy Fringe 〰️

Images: Rachel Sherlock

We’re excited about the Edinburgh Fringe, but it’s clear it needs to change. A lot of people have a lot of ideas, but nothing has really happened yet. So we decided to ask the comedians themselves: in your fantasy, what would the Fringe look like? It might have been a mistake.

In Edinburgh for a few days and spoilt for choice? Choice is no longer an option. Thanks to Tatty Macleod, we have the Randomly Generated Edinburgh Fringe Festival to fulfil all your comedy show needs.

Do you struggle to make decisions? Does FOMO ruin your festival experience? WELL NOT ANYMORE! Welcome to the Randomly Generated Edinburgh Fringe Festival, or as the locals call it “RGEFF” (pronounced Geoff - the R is silent).

Welcome to the most democratic and unexpected Festival on earth* (*disclaimer: that fact is unverified). Gone are the days where an act would build up hype and shows were selected based on reputation. Long gone are the days where you would miss out on your favourite acts due to them being “SOLD-OUT”. You can forget reviews and word-of-mouth, at RGEFF you have no idea what show you are going to see or when you are going to see it. Allow me to explain:

Rule #1

First rule of the RGEFF (pronounced Geoff) is that you can’t talk about RGEFF. Or maybe that’s Fight Club? Well it applies here too. It doesn’t matter if you’ve just spent an hour with Richard Pryor and Robin Williams. You are forbidden from discussing any details about any of the shows you have seen. If you break the first rule of RGEFF (remember, silent ‘R’), then your punishment is to perform a show yourself the next day. I don’t care if you’re an accountant with no stand-up experience, them’s the rules.

Rule #2

The second rule of RGEFF is that you don’t choose the show, the show is chosen for you. That’s right, all show tickets are randomly allocated. At dawn. At the top of Carlton Hill. Think the Hunger Games tribute selection. Literally. A giant bingo machine-cum-ticket generator will be balanced on top of Dugald Stewart monument and at the base of it Elizabeth Banks (yes the actor, she’s a big fan of RGEFF) will allocate all the tickets for the next 24 hours. The only information on your ticket will be the time and the venue.

Rule #3

The third rule of RGEFF is: it’s compulsory to eat one form of mac and cheese a day. It can be vegan, in a pie, covered in chorizo, with or without shallots, but it must be included in your daily routine. This won’t substantially impact your enjoyment of shows but we think it’s culturally important to invest in the local cuisine and give back to the community.

Rule #4

Rule number four: no phones. What happens at the RGEFF stays at the RGEFF. Only permissible items of recording are handheld VHS camcorders and courtroom sketch artists. One sketch artist is allocated to each venue to document the audience. Fridge magnets of audience member sketches will be available to purchase at the end of each show.

Rule #5

At the end of the festival all the audience members hike up to the top of Arthur's seat and all the festival performers’ names are revealed in an explosive but eco- and dog-friendly fireworks display. It’s followed by a DJ set by Elizabeth Banks (yes, she can DJ) and we all dance naked and eat haggis until sunrise. Bliss.

Tatty Macleod: Fugue runs at the Monkey Barrel from August 2-27th. Tickets here.