Nathan D’Arcy Roberts, interviewed by past and future Nathan

Fantasy Fringe

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Fantasy Fringe 〰️

Past and Present Nathan

We’re excited about the Edinburgh Fringe, but it’s clear it needs to change. A lot of people have a lot of ideas, but nothing has really happened yet. So we decided to ask the comedians themselves: in your fantasy, what would the Fringe look like? It might have been a mistake.

Comedian/Writer Nathan D’Arcy Roberts (34) sits down for an exclusive interview with his past self (14) and future self (54). Nathan enters hastily, out of breath, and apologises for being twenty minutes late. Both Past Nathan and Future Nathan arrive moments later. Equally out of breath. Equally apologetic for their tardiness.

Past Nathan: Thanks for sitting down with us today Nathan, I’ve always wondered what kind of person I’d grow up to be like.

Nathan: It’s great to get back in touch with my inner child. I can’t believe I’m meeting 14-year-old me. How’s it going?

Past Nathan: I’m riddled with anxiety and self-doubt.

Nathan: Oh yeah, I remember.

Past Nathan: It’s nice to see that the anxiety and self-doubt goes away when I’m older though.

Nathan: Goes away? Sure. Let’s go with that.

Future Nathan: I’m having the craziest déjà vu right now.

Past Nathan: It’s so exciting that you’re taking a show to the Edinburgh Fringe. It’s always been my dream to perform there. What’s the show we end up performing about?

Nathan: It’s a really fun, silly hour of stand-up. But at its core, the show’s about accepting the past and embracing change and the uncertainty of the future. It’s about how fighting to keep things the same is a losing battle and how by accepting your past you can become the best version of yourself. Conversely, by failing to accept your past, you might corrode and become the worst version.

Past Nathan: Sounds pretentious.

Nathan: F*ck you. You’re the one who wrote it.

Future Nathan: You couldn’t be more wrong.

Nathan: Excuse me?

Future Nathan: That’s not what the show’s about. At all.

Nathan: Yes it is.

Future Nathan: Erm, I’m the one who spent a month performing it. I think I’d know what it’s about.

Nathan: Ok genius. You tell us what it’s about.

Future Nathan: I’d describe it as a theatrical trifle. On the bottom layer, there’s a thick layer of wisdom. On top of that, there’s a later of silly observations about the modern world. On top of that, there’s a layer of dramatic insight. Topped off with a thick creamy layer of aggressive eroticism.

Nathan: What? There’s nothing like that in the show.

Future Nathan: About halfway through the run you get bored and decide to shake things up about. The last forty minutes is wall-to-wall one-man eroticism.

Past Nathan: What’s eroticism?

Future Nathan: You’ll find out when you get your first laptop on your next birthday.

Past Nathan: That sounds… erm. Maybe we should get back on track. What are you most looking forward to about the Fringe?

Nathan: Getting to perform for at least an hour every day and spending the month with my friends.

Future Nathan: Hmm.

Nathan: What?

Future Nathan: One of your friends will betray you for 30 pieces of silver.

Nathan: Thirty pieces of silver? What does that mean?

Future Nathan: Thirty 50ps.

Nathan: Thirty 50ps? That’s like fifteen quid?

Future Nathan: Your erotic comedy trifle makes you a lot of enemies.

Past Nathan: Can we get things back on track, please?

Nathan: Why are you so obsessed with keeping things on track? Was I always such a nerd?

Future Nathan: Yes.

Nathan: Can we get rid of the kid?

Past Nathan: Didn’t you say earlier that you shouldn’t ignore your past?

Nathan: Whatever virgin.

Future Nathan: Nice.

Nathan and Future Nathan high-5.

Nathan: I thought you were kind of a jerk at first but you’re growing on me. Do you want to get a drink?

Future Nathan: Yeah man, that sound cool. There’s a great bar around the corner. Ah, it doesn’t open for another few years.

Past Nathan: Can I come?

Nathan: Grown-ups only.

Future Nathan: Yeah, you can stay here and listen to Morrissey and Kanye West.

Past Nathan: What’s wrong with listening to Morrissey and Kanye West?

Nathan: (stifles a laugh) You’ll find out.

Past Nathan: You said you were going to stop ignoring the past! You’re doing it right now.

Nathan: Screw the past. I want to embrace the future. Tell me more about this erotic turn the show takes…

Future Nathan: Mate. It is filthy.

Nathan D’Arcy Roberts: Present/Tense. 4:20pm, 2nd - 27th August (not 14th) at Gilded Balloon Teviot. Tickets here